Choices and Change
by wazlib88
Summary: James Potter, Lily Evans, and a moment of relative peace. Because no one can deny that there's a war going on, and the choices they make have the power to change everything.


A/N: I signed up for the hpendurance challenge by simplypotterheads on tumblr, and chose the character James Potter for the prompt "snowed in." Thus, my first Jily fic was born. They are one of my favorite couples in the series, even though a lot of what we "know" about them is fanon. There's a lot of possibilities which is fun. Anyway, this is my first attempt at them, so the plot's simple but I think it's still fun. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: JKR can still own James and Lily even if I've temporarily revoked her Ron and Hermione privileges (ignores all logic about how the betrayal was six weeks ago and was overblown anyway).

* * *

Eighteen months ago, this had been the stuff worthy of his daydreams - huddling together for warmth in what was really no more than a shack, all alone with the prettiest girl in his year. But she was a lot more than the prettiest girl now, and they shouldn't have had to hide away in the first place.

They'd been walking down the main road when the fighting had broken out, and he'd ushered her into the first shelter he could find in one of the alleys. He guessed it had once been a storage unit for Zonko's; a single cardboard box with the shop's logo sat in the far corner of the small, wooden enclosure. How much could have actually been stored here, James wasn't sure - there was barely enough room for himself, Lily, and the box as it was - but with the snow falling as heavily as it was while the Aurors tried to apprehend the rogue Death Eaters, anything that had a roof and was out of the way would do.

So, while his fifteen-year-old self might have taken this opportunity to cop a feel or at least flirt a bit, the seventeen year old he was now had room for little more than the terror that had gripped his entire soul when a jet of green light had passed no more than a yard from them as they left the Three Broomsticks. By the time they'd got away, he'd been shaking so badly he hadn't been able to help her place protective charms around their hiding spot.

But the worst part was that none of it was unexpected. This wasn't the first time there had been an attack on Hogsmeade, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last. James wouldn't be surprised if it was his last visit to the place, because even if the professors let them come back, he wasn't sure that he'd want to. Not because he was scared for his own life, but because maybe, just maybe, if he stayed back, he could convince her to stay back, too. Hell, he'd even spend a Saturday studying if that's what it took. Anything to distract him from the fact that if they hadn't had to turn back to grab his coat from the hook at the pub, they'd have left a few seconds earlier and come that much closer to ending their lives before they began. Part of him believed that he would hide in this shack for the rest of his life if it could stop the inevitable.

But Lily Evans had other plans. She always did, didn't she?

"We should really get out there, shouldn't we?"

It was the first time either of them had spoken since they'd found the place nearly an hour ago, and the matter-of-fact tone of her voice was so crisp and clear that it came almost as a shock to his system. The words themselves didn't help, either.

"No!" James protested, his voice hoarser than he would have liked it to be. "What good would it do, Evans? We'll be stuck in the village another hour at least; there's no way we're getting back on foot in this weather, and they'll have blocked off all the magical ways of getting out."

"So they won't have evacuated any of the students!" Lily argued. "We're Head Boy and Girl, James, we ought to be there, we ought to be helping-"

"And how, exactly, are we going to make it any better?" James snapped. She was sitting too close for him to think properly; he could smell her coconut shampoo and somehow it was pushing him further to the edge. And, of course, it didn't help that he was determinedly not thinking about how he didn't know where any of his friends were, or if anyone had got hurt. Definitely not thinking about it.

"I'm sure the fighting's over by now, but McGonagall and the rest will have to make sure everyone's accounted for," Lily replied logically.

"And what if it's not over?" James asked, raising his voice against his own will. "You're exactly the kind of person they're after."

"I'm aware," Lily said coolly. "They can't tell by looking at me, can they?"

James blew the air out of his lungs slowly, trying to calm down before replying. "They might," he said finally. "My dad's worked with the Aurors awhile, you know. He says these bastards are interested in eliminating anyone that's not part of one of the old wizarding families. These aren't random attacks, Lily, they're targeting anybody that's Muggleborn, even some half-bloods. So no, we can't go out there and we can't help until we're sure it's safe."

"You can't tell me what to do," Lily protested, frowning, but she made no move to leave.

"Let's just stay here another half hour or so, okay?" James suggested as evenly as he could. "I'm sure McGonagall would prefer to have a Head Boy and Girl when the day's out."

That's why they'd been out together in the first place. Lily had wanted to go over ideas for the graduation party they'd be throwing for the rest of the seventh years in June. Of course, after a couple bottles of Butterbeer, the conversation had steered every which way with no focus whatsoever. That's how it always was with them, at least once they'd spent enough time together to have a proper conversation.

Lily was vivacious and engaging, the kind of girl you wanted to kiss til you were out of breath, but not til after you'd had a nice chat and cuddle. James hadn't got to the cuddling stage yet, but he'd found the chatting part to be quite enjoyable the last year or so - especially times like today, when she'd become so engrossed in a conversation, her eyes would light up faster than if he'd charmed them. They'd been having a good laugh before a curse had come buzzing past them and ruined it all.

"S'pose you're right," Lily admitted, tugging at her fingers as she spoke. Her eyes were trained ahead of her, though she didn't seem to be focusing on any point in particular. "Better safe than sorry."

"You just don't like it when anybody tries to tell you off, yeah?" James guessed, grinning slightly.

"Something like that," said Lily. "More like I don't want anybody thinking I can't take care of myself."

"I know you can," James said solemnly. "You're damn good at just about everything, save sixth year Transfiguration."

"Just sixth year, though," Lily insisted. "I'm almost better than you this year."

"Almost," James repeated. "Nobody's better than me."

Lily nudged his shoulder playfully as she chuckled. They settled into a comfortable silence. James tugged at a stray thread on the hem of his jumper, giving him something to look at as his cheeks reddened.

"I know you can take care of yourself," he repeated, mumbling. "But that's not the point, Lily. Their tactic is catching people off guard. It doesn't matter how good of a witch you are if you get in the way of one of their curses."

"You shouldn't worry about me," Lily said softly.

"I will anyway," James replied. "You know…well, you know how I feel about you. You know that I…that I care."

She was quiet for a long time. When James finally gathered the courage to glance over, her expression was nearly unreadable. But her eyes were focused at last, which told him she was thinking.

"What do you want to do when you're done with school?" she asked abruptly. Without giving him time to answer, she continued, "I want to fight. I'm not going to have an option, anyway, if things keep going the way they are. You don't have to tell me that it's people like me they're after. I already know. And eventually, it's going to be a choice between hiding out like this or fighting, and I want to fight."

She turned to face him then, and her eyes were burning with a fire he'd never seen before; it was fierce determination, and she seemed to feel it with more conviction than any seventeen year old should have to feel toward anything.

"So I don't want anyone to worry about me," she concluded. "I know where this is headed, and I've made my choice."

"And to think my answer was gonna be 'Quidditch,'" James joked weakly.

But the truth was that he hadn't thought about it. Or, at least, that he tried not to. The future was a mere six months away, but he hadn't thought about it because he knew he wasn't going to play professional Quidditch. He knew that the time was coming, that they were at war and that they would have to choose a side. And he knew that he was going to fight, too.

But he wasn't ready. He was seventeen and he was just a boy and he wasn't ready to make that choice, and being reckless and doing utterly idiotic things with his mates for the thrill of it just wasn't what it had been when there was so much at stake.

Just two years ago, one of his chief concerns had been whether or not he could ever persuade Lily Evans to talk to him for more than a stolen moment or two between classes, and now, he was prepared to do everything in his power to keep her alive and happy. Time had changed everything, and he wished it would just _stop_.

"It's dangerous to care about me," Lily remarked a moment later, her tone lighter than it should have been. "It's not just the Mudbloods they're after, it's anybody who associates with us."

"Don't call yourself that," James said immediately.

"It's just a word," Lily shrugged.

"It's not, though," James insisted. "It's an entire ideology, and we've got to put a stop to it. This isn't a new phenomenon; my own _grandparents_ would have been on the other side of this than I am. Things are meant to be changing. That's what my mum and dad have been trying to do in the Ministry for years."

"But things aren't changing fast enough," Lily inferred.

"No, but I've made my choice, too," James said. "I'm not going to stop talking to you just because your parents are muggles."

Lily snorted derisively and leaned her head back against the wall of the shack. James didn't have to ask to know what she was thinking. Tentatively, he reached over and offered her his hand. She took it gratefully and squeezed. They'd done this before, hand-holding. It was always platonic; he never wanted her to be uncomfortable. James had learned his lesson. Things had changed.

"I know you thought he was a git anyway," Lily said quietly, tracing her thumb across the back of his hand, "and obviously he and I are _fundamentally.._.I mean, we're on opposite sides of a bloody war. But he was still my friend. Imagine…imagine if Sirius turned his back on you. Or Remus, or Peter. That's what it was like."

"I get it," James replied, squeezing her hand in return. "I'm sorry."

"Well, it's not your fault," Lily smiled sadly. "It's bigger than any of us, isn't it? And we have to make our choices."

"It's all about choices with you today," James observed wryly. "I swear, Evans, talking to you is like listening to a bloody essay sometimes. Always coming back to your thesis statement."

"Whereas talking to you is like flying during a thunderstorm," Lily retorted cheekily. "I've never got any idea where we're going to end up."

"More fun that way, isn't it?" James replied, quirking an eyebrow teasingly.

Lily laughed, and James was sure there was not a more beautiful sound in the world. Of course, as soon as the thought had entered his mind, he was overcome with the urge to beat it out with a shoe before Padfoot had the chance. But then she spoke again, and as ever, she had his full attention.

"I'm really glad I've actually gotten to know you this last year," she said sincerely, fixing her eyes a few inches to his left. "You're not half bad, you know?"

"Oh, Evans. You flatter me so." James clutched dramatically at his heart, making her laugh again.

"I'm serious, though," she insisted. "And I, erm…"

He waited patiently as she took a deep breath and averted her eyes to her lap. It took every ounce of inner strength he possessed to refrain from questioning her, but the feel of her hand in his kept him focused.

"I didn't know you still…you know," she said, finally meeting his gaze with what James was tempted to call hesitant confidence. A contradiction, maybe, but wasn't everything about his relationship with Lily Evans a contradiction of sorts? "That you still felt how you did. You hadn't said."

James shrugged, as noncommittally as he could for something so important. "It's different now, isn't it? Now that I've actually got to know you."

Lily smiled, a sort of tenderness in her expression he'd never seen before. "I've got another thesis for you."

"What's that?" Was it his imagination, or was her face several inches closer to his than it had been just a moment ago?

"I think that sometimes," she said, and her golden eyelashes, tinted darker with just a hint of makeup, were definitely getting closer, "sometimes things change at just the right time, don't you think?"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were hitting on me," James joked, his voice significantly lower now in light of her proximity.

"Well, that'd be utterly inappropriate," Lily pointed out. "There's a war going on here."

She had a point, she really did, but there was a war going on everywhere. And it had been going on for many years and it would be for many more, but this moment wasn't going to last. In a little while they'd have to venture out into the snow and deal with the aftermath, and after that they'd grow up and graduate, and they'd end up fighting for something bigger than themselves because there was no other way. Choices would be made and things would change, but if James was sure of one thing, he was sure that if he didn't kiss her now, he might just burst.

But for once, they were on the same page, and she made the decision for him. Closing the gap between them, she pressed her lips softly to his. The fifteen year old in James might have let out a holler, but the seventeen year old knew better. Because she was more than just the prettiest girl, she was a girl he could maybe even spend his whole _life_ with, so he pulled her closer and kissed her back with everything he had.

"I feel the same," Lily breathed against his lips when they pulled apart some minutes later. "By the way."

James laughed, the sound escaping without his consent, but he really couldn't care less what noise he made because _she felt the same way_. They were alive and they were here, and even in the face of a war he felt like they were invincible. "Good to know," he said finally, and they both chuckled at the understatement.

"Want to go out with me sometime, then?" she asked, her eyes sparkling again.

"Dunno if it'll be allowed after this," James remarked, his expression turning solemn again. "But I could take you for a very romantic evening in the kitchens, I'm sure."

"I'd like that," Lily remarked. And then he kissed her again, effectively wiping his mind clear of anything but the feel of his lips against hers and her body pressed against his.

Professor McGonagall didn't find the story nearly as brilliant as they did when she finally found them nearly an hour later, nor did she find it nearly as amusing as James did that her hair had nearly turned white from the falling snow. But even after she assigned them extra duties for the week, neither of them could be arsed to care. If that was the price for a moment of peace in a world on the verge of being torn apart by war, James would be happy to pay it over and over again. And based on the wide smile Lily gave him when he held her hand again on the way back to the Three Broomsticks, he was willing to wager that she would, too.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for reading! :)


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